When you say nothing at all

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Yeah, you’re right. That’s Ronan Keating’s song. And that’s one of the songs I love all this while. It’s funny when I can observe myself to speak or talk lesser over the years. I don’t mean I’m funny (even though everyone said I am) but to me, it’s a signal showing I’m growing more mature.

I read from somewhere or heard from someone, “If a woman says nothing it means she’s either (1) angry or (2) dreaming. If a man says nothing, it’s just because he has nothing to say”. It’s quite true, from what I observed. One of the favourite topics women love to discuss about is “Why doesn’t he call?”.

In women’s heads:

          He doesn’t love me anymore

          He is flirting with another girl right now

          He’s such a lazy bastard (that is a tough one!)

          He’s so ignorant and doesn’t care about how I feel

          He’s forgetting about me while having a beer with his peers

          And the list goes on

While in men’s head:

          Why should I call when I have nothing to say? What a waste of money and phone credit!

          I’m busy

          She probably needs her own space/ time

And that’s it!

And women rage because men don’t call. How great!

There was a comic graph about what women and men want that made me laugh so hard. It goes like this:

Women: flowers, chocolates, sweet talk, beautiful bags, diamond rings (or pricey jewelries), cozy restaurants and romantic candle-light dinners, posh shoes, good look, tea and breakfast at the bed, caressing, cuddling, teary movies, salsa dance, no smoking, fine wine, love cards, caring texts, everyday emails, occasional gifts, unexpected lovely surprises (gifts or whatsoever), romantic beach vacations, gifts for parents, holding hands, etc…

Men: just a beer and a naked body

Now that’s a wow!

God created men to be a practical, straight-forward, lazy and forgetful creature while women were created to be so sentimental, sensitive, emotional, attention-loving, romantic and yet materialistic. So when a typical man meets a typical woman, I guess the only compliment they can exchange to each other is “Oh darling/ baby/ honey/ sweetheart/ blah blah nickname, we complete each other”.

Texting is another topic to laugh about. When a woman texts her man, “Darling, care to join me for dinner?” and receives his reply of “Sorry, I’m busy”, she will probably text back, either “Okay fine!” (meaning, “I’m very disappointed in you. How could you be so thoughtless? I have prepared a beautiful red dress, completed my hairdo and finished my makeover just for you tonight and now…”) or “So when will you be done?” (meaning,  “You will know what’s going to happen when you see me, bastard!”) or something else with terrible underneath meaning. If men do have a capability to read “behind-the-scene” message, they would probably run away as fast as a rocket. Unfortunately, men do not have such capability and yet, they have no time to improve it.

So, when I text my man and receive such reply, I’ll go “Okay, don’t worry. Let’s do it some other time (I really mean it)”. Not to be less cruel, the reply I got is even shorter, “Okay” or “Sure” or worse, nothing at all. I read from a book that men text for the sake of delivering necessary information while women text to chit-chat, build and maintain relationships, care and to attract attention. So, all this while, there was always a huge misunderstanding about “Why doesn’t he call?” thingy.

If we (women) notice enough, men usually express their care (if they’re honestly caring) via several small things.

          They open the door for us.

          They listen to our rants (very important, isn’t it?).

          They ride us around (and sometimes crazy).

          They pay for our dinners (and for other things, too).

          They cook for us (if they know how to).

          They watch us sleeping (and make no complaint about us snoring if any of us does) and play with our hair (they love to do it in secret).

           They tolerate our terrible cooking (no offense, not all of us is a great cook).

          They sing for us (even though we’d rather be in hell than listening to them).

          They finish our unfinished food (because we’re trying to act like a real lady).

          And so on and so forth

And except for the part of singing, we all know they do all these without saying a word. But good Lord, we women still want to receive “verbal” care. So there should be 2 tasks for both women and men here in such scenario. Men should talk more (not to conquer or take over women’s role) and women should observe more (not football, babes!).

(And I think I should become a psychologist already!)

 

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